Ukubhala Ngezimpawu Zokuziphatha Okusayina Ubudlelwano obunobuthi:
Ama-Behaviors Wobuthi obunobuthi emibhangqwaneni engamafulegi abomvu obudlelwano:

Uqhubeka ubheke i-smartphone yakho njalo ngemuva komzuzwana njengoba abangane bakho bebona ukuthi umncane kunokwejwayelekile. Ayikho imibhalo. Azikho izingcingo. Lutho. Kufana nokuthi akushaya indiva ngamabomu. Uzibuza ukuthi umatasatasa nokuthi unaso yini isikhathi sokufunda umbhalo wakho. Ngakho-ke umthumelela imiyalezo futhi uzama ukulungisa izinto futhi. Uxolisa ngakho konke yize bekucacile ukuthi yiphutha lakhe. Ufuna nje ukuthi impi iphele. Njengoba ubona ukuthi umyalezo wakho "ufundwe" ukukhathazeka kwakho kuyanda bese uyambona ukuthi ungaxhunyiwe ku-inthanethi. Noma kunjalo akukho mpendulo. Usakuthukuthelele yize engenasizathu sako. Manje uqala ukuzizwa unecala futhi unamahloni njengoba ukuzithemba kwakho kuthatha ukushaya.

Kungamane kungukungaqondi? Noma ukhona ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi?

Ukuziphatha ngokubhala imiyalezo emibhangqwaneni kungakunika izexwayiso eziningana zokuthi kunobudlelwano obunobuthi.
Izifundo eziningana zithole ukuthi ukuthumelelana imiyalezo ngemiyalezo kungaholela ekucindezelekeni okukhulu nasekukhathazekeni, ikakhulukazi phakathi kwezithandani ezithandanayo. Ucwaningo luveze ukuthi ukuthumelelana imiyalezo ngemiyalezo kungenza ubuhlobo bakho bube ngcono noma kubi kakhulu kususelwa ekutheni wena nothanda imiyalezo nithandana kanjani. Uma kukhulunywa ngobudlelwano bezothando, ochwepheshe bathole ukuthi okubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi “umbhalo uvumelana” kangakanani nomuntu wakho, esikhundleni sokuthi nivame ukuthumelelana imiyalezo kangakanani.

Noma kungaba yindlela ephumelelayo yokuxhumana, ukuthumela imiyalezo kungaba empeleni, kube yisithiyo ekwakheni ubudlelwano obunenjongo nomunye wakho obalulekile. Lokhu kuyiqiniso kakhulu kubalingani abanobuthi kanye nobudlelwano. Ukuziphatha ngemiyalezo komlingani wakho kungambula okuningi mayelana nokucabanga kwabo, ubuntu babo nemizwa yabo yangempela kuwe njengoba lokhu kungakusiza ekuboneni izimpawu zobudlelwano obunobuthi.

Ngabe bakuthumela imiyalezo ngaso sonke isikhathi bekubuza ukuthi ukuphi? Ngabe bafuna ukulandelela indawo yakho? Ngabe balindele ukuthi uphendule ngokushesha? Ngabe bafuna ukwazi iphasiwedi kudivayisi yakho? Isikhala somuntu siqu sibalulekile kunoma ibuphi ubuhlobo obunempilo. Kodwa-ke, abalingani abanobuthi bavame ukuwela yonke imingcele futhi bahlasele isikhala sakho esiyimfihlo sedijithali. Bangashukunyiswa ukungazethembi kwabo noma okuhlangenwe nakho okubi ebuhlotsheni babo besikhathi esedlule. Kepha lokho akusho ukuthi kufanele ubekezelele.

Bangakunikeza "izizathu" eziningi (funda izaba) zokufinyelela kudivayisi yakho bese ubheka imibhalo yakho bese ubiza izingodo bese ubiza ukusizakala ngaphandle kokuthi uzibone. Yize kungenzeka ukuthi awunalutho ongakufihla, bazokusola ngokukopela uze uhambisane nezidingo zabo zokubanika ifoni yakho. Ngenkathi ngezinye izikhathi, zingaqonda ngokwengeziwe futhi zithi umlutha ocingweni lwakho ngakho-ke zizokuthatha 'uthando lwakho zikususe kude nawe.' Zonke lezi yizenzo ezinobuthi nemizamo yokulawula nokukuhlukumeza.

Namuhla i-smartphone yakho ingasetshenziswa njengesikhali hhayi ukufinyelela yonke imininingwane yakho yangasese kepha futhi ukulawula, ukukhohlisa, ukuxhaphaza, ukusongela, ukungcolisa, ukudida nokukuhlukanisa. Ebudlelwaneni obuphilile, abalingani bangahlanganyela ngokuzithandela ukufinyelela kumadivayisi wabo ukuze kubonakale kangcono ebudlelwaneni. Kodwa-ke, uma uzizwa uphoqelekile ukwenza kanjalo, khona-ke lezi yizimpawu zobudlelwano obunobuthi kanye nomlingani ongavikelekile, ohlekisayo.
7 zokuziphatha imiyalezo enobuthi ukuthi amafulegi obomvu ubuhlobo:
"Into ethokozisayo ngombhalo ukuthi, njengokukhuluma, kukuhlukanisa nomuntu okhuluma naye, ngakho-ke ungenza ngendlela ehlukile kunendlela obukwenza ngayo mathupha noma ocingweni." - U-Aziz Ansari

Noma yibuphi ubuhlobo obunobuthi bunezimpawu ezithile eziyisixwayiso, kepha kunezindlela eziningi zokuziphatha kobuhlobo ezingezinempilo ezingakhonjiswa ngokuthumela imiyalezo. Ukusuka kuminza ngemibhalo eqhubekayo kuya lapho uphoqelelwa ukukhombisa ibhokisi lakho lokungenayo kumlingani wakho, nazi izindlela ezimbalwa zokuziphatha zemiyalezo enobuthi okudingeka uziqaphele.